Eventually every colour fades.

Lacking a catalyst; a gradual change for the worse.
Since the loss of myself, and having lost all else,
now I know for sure that we aren't what we once were
anymore.

The turpentine's fast acting and it's taking with it
what I thought I would always have to define myself -
hard to remember my old self.
The turpentine's fast acting and it's taking with it
what I thought would always have to define myself -
oh God, I'm someone else.
You're turpentine; efficient and effective.
Stripping me down, stripping me bare.
You're turpentine.

I cannot feel this mask that conceals my suffering.
In silence while these moments are on repeat.
I remember a time your smile shining
and leaving impressions on my skin.

You're an imbalance of chemicals -
a mess of electrical impulse -
and I'm calculated.
It shouldn't come as a surprise to you or me
that this is the way things had to be.

I long for my reflection in your eyes -
the image of someone with purpose
and still chemically balanced.

I'm looking in the mirror and I don't like what I see.
and that's because of you.

But now everyday is the same.
Crushing my heart in my hands just to feel anything.
Just to feel anything at all.

How am I supposed to stay strong when I've never been?

And I'm wondering what comes...